Look at me! I'm urban!

Well tonight I decided that a.) I'm officially totally urbanized and 2.) I'm probably manic, hahaha.

Last night I was all emo and crying...making late night phone calls to Russia and breaking stuff. Wishing Christmas would go fuck itself and telling the phone to jump off a cliff. Hoping, wishing, praying that Friday would come and the end would be near. (God I can't wait for work to be done tomorrow!!!!) We're having a potluck lunch tomorrow at work and I'm so stressed about what to bring. Damn I hate it when shit like this is thrust upon me. Just because I'm working I have to bring some food for everyone?? I hate that. I'm too poor for this shit. I work for a store that can make 50,000 on a good day (in just ONE DAY) and they can't even spring for a store thrown staff Christmas party? Instead we have to bring it all ourselves? It's sweet and all but shit. You don't fucking pay me enough for that crap, man. Nonetheless, my sweet and sour pork things are in the fridge as we speak. Though it doesn't look like enough for however many people are on tomorrow, so I think I'll stop and get a dip thing tomorrow on the way to work too.

Then just Christmas and not being with my family was making me all sad. I'm missing my little nephew opening his presents for the SECOND time and he'll be so damn cute this year because he's so big now and can run around and stuff. And worse yet, I don't even have money to send him something awesome. I know he's totally spoiled, but I figured if I can't be there I could at least be the totally cool Aunt that sends him awesome shit from out West. Oh well. Maybe I'll have more money when he's bigger and then he'll remember the cool presents I send him, haha. Not having much money to get people what I want to get them really blows. We're trying to be more inventive this year, and I think we have done a good job...but even being inventive apparently adds up.

But tonight I'm much happier. Though, admittedly, I've just depressed myself a bit again by recounting my emotional rollercoaster that was last evening, haha. But moving on........

Tonight....I've become so urban it hurts. I can feel my Starbucks hot chocolate burning a hole thru my mittens and the mp3 player I won't go on a walk without ripping through my pocket. I've become one of them. Though I love it. It feels like a neighbourhood around here now. I have neighbours. (And the majority, if not all of them, are boys. Ahhhh. Excellent. Just the way I likes it, hehe.) On a regular Thursday night, I can walk just up the street to where my lady is working and visit her for a few minutes, then walk across the street to another coffee shop where my friends are playing a show. WHERE, one of my best friends in the world is sitting, having coffee with her Mum WATCHING said show....and low and behold, the aforementioned cute neighbour boys walk in with their friends and family to sit, have a cuppa and watch the show too. Because we're all friends and this is where we live and what we do. We can sit and talk and hug and laugh and have a great time for half an hour, then all part ways knowing we'll all see each other really soon (like tomorrow, haha) because we live just blocks from each other. Then I can hug everyone good bye, wish them a very Merry Christmas, walk back to the roomies store, get a hot chocolate (the only time I can ever get her to make me something to eat, hehe) and walk home listening to my tunes and sipping sweet liquid chocolatey glory.

That's what Christmas is all about. I needed that. I love my friends, my new family and my old family.

I love my life.

Merry Christmas.