Home, where my music's playing....Home.

So I'm home for a rest...albeit very briefly........

I came home Saturday afternoon and my family all met me at the airport...yay! It was so sweet to finally see them all again and my little nephew is not so little any more. I've been cuddling him almost non-stop since I stepped off the plane and I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I leave. Who's baby will I cuddle then!? It's just not the same if its not the cutest baby in the world though anyway (ie. my nephew.) I never thought I'd fall in love this weekend, but I did...well I fell in love this past summer really, but I didn't think it was possible to fall in love all over again like that. Alas, I did though. His huge blue eyes, his crazy curly brown hair and the softest skin known to mankind. It's true though, they are made cute so you'll keep them, cause the little bugger really can wail when he wants to. But who am I kidding? He's cute even when he's crying and pissed right off.

The night I arrived though I met up with my friends from home and we went and saw our favorite band play...Great Big Sea. Seriously, those guys rock more and more every time. They switched their show up a bit, bringing in some more traditional tunes and it was frickin awesome. Went for drinks afterwards with two of my good friends and we filled our faces with brownie & ice cream, and of course a Long Island or two. Mmmm. Then it was early (riiight) to bed, early to rise, as I camped out in the basement of my friends house and she had a toddler who is POSSIBLY the second cutest baby I know. Ok. He is. And equally as capable of wailing on command...but still, just as cute doing it. None the less it made for an early morning, which was fine because I've been known to sleep for days on end if given the chance. My time here is horribly brief and I figure I shouldn't waste TOO much of it sleeping. (But I put forth the arguement that I am also on vacation and to me, vacation means doing whatever the fuck I want. Which includes sleeping.)

I hung out with my girl Di and her hubby and son for the morning and then went over to my bro's. My sis-in-law (who's humor and wit I'd missed while away...) and I ran an errand or two and then the 4 of us (baby included here) were off to the farm, where I now sit at my Dad's laptop in his office at 1am. (MacGregor time.)

All of this is fine and wonderful and I'm so happy to be home.

Yet it feels like I never left and some how it's hard for me to believe I have another home and friends (who feel like a new family) waiting for me a couple hundred miles away on the Left Coast. I now feel like no matter where I am, which home I'm at, I'll always be missing something. It's a hard thing to come to terms with. If only I could clone myself. I mostly just wish both places were closer together I guess. That would solve most of my issues. I love the quietness and familiarity of the farm and Winnipeg. My family is here, my animals are here and the huge blue, never ending sky that I've known my whole life is here. I miss it. I miss going out and taking the goats the left over apples and cuddling cats and seeing the dog get so excited that we're going for a walk that he JUST might turn himself inside out. But at the same time I find myself almost missing the mountains, and all the water that surrounds my life out west. I miss the feeling of "so what are we doing tonight, girls??" and my roomate's crazy antics. The Downtown nightlife, the dancing and the insanity of the never ending boy hunt that seems to have taken over our lives. I wish I could be in both places and have more free choice of which I want to be a part of any given moment. I hate that I will now til who knows when, will always have to spend at least $500 to see my nephew, and my bro and sis-in-law and my parents and goats. My dog. Who should have to pay $500 to see their dog? It's some cruel trick having now fallen in love with two vastly different worlds.

I feel it's a phase however. I had no idea going out there how long I would stay, and I still have no idea how long I will. I know now it will be for awhile, perhaps longer than I had first antiscipated but I think some day if my family doesn't come to me, then I will prob come home to them. (How I will deal with the -30C weather I will not know.) I will always be a Prairie girl at heart.

Til then though, I know where I need to be to find my own life. To find out where I'm supposed to be headed and who I'm headed there with.

I just wish a goat could live comfortably in an apartment in North Van.....





So tomorrow I head back to the city with my bro and his family...hang out with them and Thursday morning my friend Di and I fly back to Vancouver. It will be harsh as I don't completely know when I'm coming back. The plan is for the summer as I have a wedding or two to attend, I just hope I can afford it. Next I can't wait for when my family comes to visit me and we get to show them around!

This weekend is going to be such a blast though...all my girls together and we'll be partying it up West Coast style with GBS again...3 more shows! Are we nutso??? I THINKSO! We're headed to see them in Vancouver Thursday when we arrive, then Victoria on Friday and then we leave Di behind in Vic with our other good friend Steph and C, and the Sisters head to Seattle for my 4th and final show. Wow. It's going to be one hell of an unbelievable week/weekend and I'm not sure what we'll do when it's all said and done. But I can't wait for it to happen. I just hope it all lives up to our expectations. Nothing is ever how we plan it, and nothing is ever how it seems...but it always happens and when I'm with my favorite people in the world doing what we love to do the most...we can't go wrong.

Cheers til next time...